I Dare You to give advice to your younger self

I ran across an article titled Advice to My Younger Self. I’ve thought many times over the years, “I wish I’d done this differently” or “If I’d only known how this was going to turn out” I’m always very cautious about giving advice to others. As a parent, I give advice rather freely. Although, with adult children, I try to be a bit more careful on doling out words of wisdom. I have to remind myself  “THEY ARE ADULTS!”  Advice to adult children could be an entirely different post all on its own.

I wonder would I believe my older self’s advice. Would the younger me think this old broad is nuts I’d never let things go there?  If I heeded the older me’s advice would it trigger an avalanche of different challenges and consequences? I always believe good or bad some things are meant to be and certain people were supposed to be in my life regardless of how they got there.

But for kicks and giggles I thought maybe there are a few things I should reflect on and possibly there are a few nuggets someone else might learn from or at the very least enjoy.

#1 This too shall pass-I can remember worrying over financial situations or my teenagers not growing up to be successful adults. I fretted, stewed and cried over a great many things and made myself all kinds of miserable over things that I had little or no control over. In 6 months or a year later things always looked different.  This challenge or awful situation will soon pass.

#2 It’s never too soon to start thinking, planning or saving for retirement-I really got serious about retirement without the worry of having to eat dog food when I was 80 at about 40. Yes, being an old person being so poor and forced to eat dog food is one of my fears. Before age 40 I had kids that needed shoes or fees for events or whatever else that came at me from being a parent.  Start early at least thinking about investing in real estate or saving X amount of dollars starting at 40. So, when 40 hits at least you are not starting at zero and have only been reacting to the next unexpected bill. Make retirement saving plans early. Ask everyone who has been successful at it questions, read books and articles. Some of this will stick and will prepare you for a life after working full time. 

#3 Prepare emotionally for the loss of Mom & Dad- I’m not sure how I’d do this, the end for both of parents was ugly. I hope my own kids will be spared that when I get old and frail.

#4 Don’t let a man control your destiny-stand up for yourself, be brave, do it yourself, stand up for yourself. If he isn’t okay with that then let him move on.  Refer to lesson #1 this too shall pass. It might feel like a kidney stone, but you will be better and HAPPIER if you stand up for yourself or even facing things alone. 

#5 Don’t underestimate yourself in your 30’s-you can handle that promotion, you should pursue that next career goal, you are smart enough. Age 50 comes too quickly and you’ll wish you had not underestimated yourself. Take the chance!

These are my top 5 lessons for my younger self.  Given enough time I might be able to come up with more.  

If I could sit face to face with my younger self I would likely tell her to avoid many other things and embrace others, but would I change the younger me too much? I don’t know, but it is certainly something to ponder. 

I Dare You to Learn More About......

Angeline Roles is the founder and CEO of Absolute Success Consulting, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations.  Angeline is a dynamic and entertaining speaker and she has a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences toward developing their own human potential both personally and professionally.

Angeline has consulted for many companies and addressed thousands of people in talks, seminars, and workshops.  

She has studied, researched, written and spoken for 30 years in the fields of business and personal/professional growth. She speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development, including the executives and staff of many of large companies. Her exciting talks and seminars on Leadership, Self-Esteem, Goals, Strategy, Public Speaking and Social Media bring about immediate changes and long-term results. She is a Master Coach for the 4 Disciplines of Execution with Franklin Covey.

Angeline has over 10 years’ of client Digital Marketing experience in helping organizations such as CLUB 20, Mesa County Department of Human Services, Mesa County Workforce Center, Homz Colorado, The Economic Enrichment Network,  and others. Angeline started, developed and sold a social network before social networking was a widespread term. As a Digital Marketer, Angeline has developed and delivered workshops on Social Media Marketing Basics.

She has been interviewed and is a regular contributor on the subject of Marketing and Public Relations on KREX, KJCT, KKCO News. She hosts a radio show on KAFM radio highlighting community events and programs.

Angeline is both a former TV new/weather anchor and radio DJ.

Angeline is happily married and has three grown children. 
She and her husband have owned and operated a Property Management Company for nearly 20 years. 
Angeline is active in her community and state. She has served on the Colorado State Governor’s Commission on Community Service under Governors Ritter and Hickenlooper.  Currently, she is a founding member of a civic engagement group developing strategies around Community Connectedness.

If you know anyone planning a conference that needs a motivational leadership speaker or a business that needs a push forward please contact Angeline. 

I Dare You to Invite Me to Speak At Your Next Conference

I Dare you to connect-

There are pounds, no tons of studies out there on the importance of social connectedness.  I think we many times we figure if we are on Social Media we must have it covered. Not so much.  Social Connectedness has scores of definitions online. I am currently working with a group of community leaders trying to implement social connectedness throughout our County.  Mesa County is a great place to live with many wonderful people, amenities, and landscape. We have a first-rate University, Colorado Mesa University.  The community has struggled since the recession hit in 2008. This area entered a touch later than the rest of the Country and has not come out nearly as quickly or as robustly as much of the Front Range of Colorado.   A group of community leaders came together and discussed why the unemployment rate lagged and drug related crimes and suicide plagued such a great community.  We kept coming back to is it the economy or lack of services the general consensus was that all the difficulty the community faced was a symptom of something other than just jobs or healthy living or educational opportunities. We knew we had all the components of a great community, but why did we struggle?  After many, many meetings, whiteboard exercises, sticky notes and discussions we decided social connectedness with its four components is what needs attention.  

Social Connectedness Defined By…

·         Personal Relationships - This refers to the “structure and nature of people’s personal relationships” and is concerned with who people know and what they do to establish and maintain their personal relationships.

·         Social Network Support- This refers to “the level of resources or support that a person can draw from their personal relationships,” but also includes what people do for other individuals on a personal basis.

·         Civic Engagement -This refers to “the actions and behaviors that can be seen as contributing positively to the collective life of a community or society.” It includes activities such as volunteering, political participation, and other forms of community actions.

·         Trust and Cooperative Norms - This refers to the trust and to the cooperative norms or shared values that shape the way people behave towards each other and as members of society. Trust and values that are beneficial for society as a whole (such as, for example, solidarity and equity) can determine how much people in a society are willing to cooperate with one another.

The idea is that every sector of our community from the head of the Department of Human Services to the Main Street businesses to Joe Citizen should be connected or have an easy path to find that connectedness.  We realized we did not need another initiative or to get everyone involved in a “new” process or project, but rather we all needed to connect the dots of what we are all doing right where we are at right now.

While everyone was concerned about the suicide rate, not everyone needed to start another project to address the issue. Rather how is what I already do impact or contribute to helping reduce that rate or do I need to join your group and we pursue the solution together rather than running 5 different projects at once. 

We are focusing on what we do best and then being sure we are connecting each other’s efforts to better impact the entire community. It is a paradigm shift in thinking for the entire community.  It’s not so much starting new projects rather interweaving what we currently do with other organizations through collaboration and communicating and listening.  The hope is that every business, group or organization can pursue the same wildly important goal of social connectedness while doing what that group does best.

A community-wide survey is being launched with the hope of personally contacting 1000 citizens, asking them how and what makes them feel connected. After those results are tabulated a larger group of diverse community folks will come together and plan the next steps as based on those survey results. Yes this will be a long project, but I truly believe it maybe one of the most legitimate efforts due to the diversity of the groups involved and that no needs to change what they are doing rather find how where we connect to provide better goods and services to those most in need in any given situation. 

  

I've had my share of experience with civic engagement projects statewide to pass legislative initiatives, but this one is really special as it is all about civic engagement for the entire county. 

Here's to our success! I'll keep you updated on our progress in coming blog posts. 

I Dare YOU to become or find out how you and your organizations are connected. 

I Dare You to NOT Believe

I was thrilled on Sunday, Mother’s Day as I surfed social media of how it was filled with such wonderful posts about Mom’s and how they impacted almost every post. It warmed my heart and gave me such a feeling of relief that no one was slamming the president or his administration with memes. No smirky stuff about bad drivers or people of Walmart.

 It was so refreshing!

 It lasted until about 5:00 pm when two particularly left-leaning friends of mine began their Trump Bashing.  Not that I’m a Trump supporter. I lean neither left nor right. I am happily planted in the “middle” politically speaking.  It was so nice to just enjoy social media for a day about some good stuff, Mom’s and how they impacted the lives of those around them.  I dare say those positive stories impacted me more than all of the crappy, mean or snarky posts shared with the intent to expose or change my mind about politics, religion or whatever.

Today I dare you not to post something questionable without being sure this is the truth or just a portion of the truth.  We are so concerned by bullying- yet some of the things we post as funny really do border on the edge of bullying. I appreciate sarcasm as much if not more than anyone, but is it really serving a higher good to post it? In this instant digital age, it is OUR challenge to use common sense and perpetuate more Mother’s Day Sundays.  I dare you to think twice, three times even four is this really true and does it really need to be said and will this really change someone’s mind or will it just create more division and anger.

And So It Begins!

Taking chances can be exhilarating, frustrating and challenging.
I have taken my share of chances. Some were successful, some not so much!
The thing about taking chances is that there is always something to be learned.
Those lessons learned can be "ahh moments" of "yes I am that good" or "oh crap" that was a really bad idea.
I am hoping this new blog falls under the moment of "yes I am that good".
Or at the least, I succeed more than I fail. Either way, I hope to inspire some new habits for myself and others who may read these posts.

This blog is called "I Dare You" for a couple reasons. One of the first books I read on leadership was called I Dare You, by William H. Danforth (1870-1955). This little book had its intended impact on me it hooked me on leadership. I was awarded the book at the age of 14 years old. The intent of the award was to dare youth to be more for themselves and their communities.
Danforth's four-fold development was to Think Tall, Smile Tall, Live Tall, Stand Tall. Like many leadership writers, he encouraged the personal development of balancing and nurturing one's Physical, Mental, Social and Religious elements. My particular edition was published in 1976. I image today it would have been written as spiritual vs. religious. Making it more "PC".  My copy has held a prominent place at my desk ever since I received it. With the exception of when it was water damaged in a cross country move in my early 20's. The book is a little tattered and wrinkled from the water damage, but still very usable and holds all the wisdom it did since it's original publication. Which is a little like me from years of success and failures.

My I Dare You blog will be based on my success and failures. Stories on personal and professional life, leadership, family, current affairs. Some posts may be very serious others more about entertaining.  Today, I blog to dare to inspire, teach, train and entertain and if I am truly successful leave a little wisdom on those reading each post.